Month: January 2013

I hate forms!

I have always hated filling in forms, I get ‘bored’ after the first page.  I fail to read the instructions, and then cannot remember them when I do.  I get tied up in the semantics so that I don’t understand what exactly it is asking me to do.

I have to fill in a form to make an appeal, it was bad enough filling in the first 61 page monster.  That took me 4 weeks, this one has to be done today.  Why is everything so difficult?

Gave up and phoned instead…that was just as bad, I hate explaining myself, I get tied up with what’s in my head and what’s (not) coming out of my mouth!  I have a sheet of paper in front of me to read from that I wrote earlier, so why can’t I scan down and read it.  I forget things I should say, and say things that are not remotely helpful.

I tried to blog this yesterday but the blooming tinternet wifi dongle had no signal.  So much for a daily blog…

I lay in bed this morning thinking about forums and talking to ‘she who prods me in the face with a paw and meows loudly 1cm away from my face’.   I must explain, I am unable to get out of bed first because I am furthest in under the gunwale, and Mr Hs has to get out of bed so that I can get up.   I am awake early, he likes to lie in.  Piewacket black cat chivvies me along every day to get up as early as possible and fill her’s and Dozy’s bowls.

Forums – forums to support those with Alzheimers/Dementia and their carers..I know, I know..it seems crazy to think that sufferers should have the where-with-all to join in sensibly…well, let me tell you I and some others still have some live brain cells left and will continue to use them for as long as possible.  Anyway, I digress.  Support I thought, that would be helpful, and yes they are lovely lovely people, but reading the threads are TERRIFYING for a sufferer as it is full of carers sharing their stories and sadness of their loved ones whose brain cells have died.   Bloody hell, I thought, here I am wishing to get the absolute most out of being compos mentis, only to read how I am going to make my loved ones suffer when I am not.   It feels like the things that I want to talk about, cannot be spoken about and needs to be hidden from the carers….It is too raw, and too honest to be openly spoken about.

Living Will – I was unable to find any threads about those who wish to have a living will.   I want one, hell’s bells in no way do I want my family to remember me with such sadness, and trauma of having to care for me.     I have talked it over to Mr Hs and when the time is right, when I am no longer me, should I become ill, pneumonia or such like, no way do I want any treatment.  No resuscitation, no treatment end of..

And now to go get food, because the fridge is empty and Mr Hs will need feeding today.