Mobile wifi signal malfunction no blooming tinternet!

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I hate forms!

I have always hated filling in forms, I get ‘bored’ after the first page.  I fail to read the instructions, and then cannot remember them when I do.  I get tied up in the semantics so that I don’t understand what exactly it is asking me to do.

I have to fill in a form to make an appeal, it was bad enough filling in the first 61 page monster.  That took me 4 weeks, this one has to be done today.  Why is everything so difficult?

Gave up and phoned instead…that was just as bad, I hate explaining myself, I get tied up with what’s in my head and what’s (not) coming out of my mouth!  I have a sheet of paper in front of me to read from that I wrote earlier, so why can’t I scan down and read it.  I forget things I should say, and say things that are not remotely helpful.

I tried to blog this yesterday but the blooming tinternet wifi dongle had no signal.  So much for a daily blog

I lay in bed this morning thinking about forums and talking to ‘she who prods me in the face with a paw and meows loudly 1cm away from my face’.   I must explain, I am unable to get out of bed first because I am furthest in under the gunwale, and Mr Hs has to get out of bed so that I can get up.   I am awake early, he likes to lie in.  Piewacket black cat chivvies me along every day to get up as early as possible and fill her’s and Dozy’s bowls.

Forums – forums to support those with Alzheimers/Dementia and their carers..I know, I know..it seems crazy to think that sufferers should have the where-with-all to join in sensibly…well, let me tell you I and some others still have some live brain cells left and will continue to use them for as long as possible.  Anyway, I digress.  Support I thought, that would be helpful, and yes they are lovely lovely people, but reading the threads are TERRIFYING for a sufferer as it is full of carers sharing their stories and sadness of their loved ones whose brain cells have died.   Bloody hell, I thought, here I am wishing to get the absolute most out of being compos mentis, only to read how I am going to make my loved ones suffer when I am not.   It feels like the things that I want to talk about, cannot be spoken about and needs to be hidden from the carers….It is too raw, and too honest to be openly spoken about.

Living Will – I was unable to find any threads about those who wish to have a living will.   I want one, hell’s bells in no way do I want my family to remember me with such sadness, and trauma of having to care for me.     I have talked it over to Mr Hs and when the time is right, when I am no longer me, should I become ill, pneumonia or such like, no way do I want any treatment.  No resuscitation, no treatment end of..

And now to go get food, because the fridge is empty and Mr Hs will need feeding today.

Happy New Year

ImageWoke my usual time around 8.30am and the sun was shining over the marina, well almost!  I feel reasonably excited for this year because not working, we will untie the boat and cruise for a couple of months.  

I was not raining today, a good start to the year, so we went for a walk along the Trent & Mersey canal in the village of Alrewas, in Staffordshire.  It was beautiful, the sun broke through the dark clouds with shards of light.  It stilled my thoughts, and made me feel calm and relaxed.  

Mr Hsg still has a cold, his eyes running in the chill air on our walk, but the freshness blew away the days of being indoors.

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