April 2015 – Handbagwarrior; verbal ramblings

My first week in my new home

Think I have overdone the unpacking, sorting and painting of furniture this week and slept most of yesterday!

Things are sorted out in my new flat and looking nice and I am now getting used to living alone again. I have noticed as I have been trying to organise new Doctors, Opticians and the like, how on a good day I am more than capable, on a wobbly day, I can be a bit befuddled. I know that I need to keep in check my awareness of making good decisions, because I know that at some time that I will become less able to take the right one. I need help putting my new TV together (putting the stand together and setting it up), but am so aware that I must be careful about who I go to for help. I do not have the strength to screw the stand together so a handy man should be able to do that, but who do I know who to choose? These are real worries.

I have talked to my bank and thankfully they are fully ‘dementia aware trained’ and was given some excellent advice as to how to manage my money safely. Thank you and well done NATWEST Bank!

I have painted my new (second hand) furniture with chalk paint and am well pleased with how they have been transformed. My pictures are up, and almost all of the boxes are empty.

I have finally managed to settled down to begin reading again, my absolute pleasure!

I follow a blog by Pippa Kelly and she writes about “Dementia Friendly. What does it really mean?” (click the title which is the link to take you there) which is spot on. I love how she questions what it means and then shows us by recounting it in action.

For us who are living with dementia, wearing a badge, proclaiming you are dementia friendly is not enough if you have no idea how to implement it. It means, writing things down for us, giving us clear instructions, signposting clearly and repeating everything. I always comment that I may look as if I will remember or understand everything, but that is a mistake to make, because in reality I will not remember what you said, or your instructions.

I am resting up this weekend and doing some more reading as my head is not ready to take on the world quite yet.

Alzheimers Journal: The move

I packed all of my life into boxes, how much stuff can one get on a small boat is incredible! I am sure a lot of it should be thrown away and when I continue opening boxes I shall be doing so. Trying to be organised when you have Alzheimer’s is incongruous to the task. In my defence I will say that I was trying to keep the boxes light by adding a random assortment of things into each 😉

I dare not stop to think about the emotional cost of what was happening because I needed to be focussed on making sure everything I needed to do was done on time. I tentatively wrote on each box what was in it, but by the time it was filled I had no real idea what I had put in there!

I said goodbye to my cat of thirteen years who was remaining behind with my husband, she would be happier to remain in a life that suited her. To my friends I had made in the marina, and my boat that I had lived on for 5 years.

I will allow myself one teary week, then will get on with it .

Moving into an Anchor Housing studio flat is not the worst thing to do. I have already met some lovely people and with the knowledge that there is a Manager on site it is extremely suitable.

Unpacking is a nightmare, but I don’t need to tell you that do I? I have little furniture having bought a pine bookcase and tv table at a community furniture project that I shall very shortly be ‘upcycling’ by painting and maybe distressing.

In my first week I have had a cooker, fridge freezer and carpet installed and fitted.

I have been sleeping on my chair which is excruciatingly painful when you have fibromyalgia. Then my wooden bed arrived which I put together – splendid. No mattress yet though 😦 I have tried to make a ‘nest’ of duvets and anything soft to use it to sleep on, and its almost comfortable (okay not the right word but I am being positive here). Then yesterday I put together the drawers that go underneath the bed, well supposedly! They are either 2cm to high or the bed is 2cm too short whichever way you look at it. So I have emailed the ‘not so helpful’ Mr Mattress.co.uk, to ask if they can give me a date for my mattress being delivered (which they previously just said no), and what can be done about the drawers not going under the bed. Frankly I am not expecting much response from them, and I am tiring of trying to sort things out. I have noticed that where as once I was able to spring into action and get things done, now I have to plan everything I do. The stress makes me more ‘befuddled’ so I will take my time, there is no hurry.

Emotionally, I do what I do to stay positive and upbeat.

Alzheimer’s: When prosecution of child sexual abuse is unable continue due developing Alzheimer’s

Before I start, I must state that this is my opinion only.

Lord Greville Janner has allegations going back to the 70’s for child sexual abuse when he was an MP in Leicestershire, UK. It is said he befriended manager(s) of children(s) homes for access to young children. I remember one case in particular regarding a children’s home in a small town where I used to live. A friend of mine worked there and gave evidence during the court cases when it was first investigated.

Greville Janner’s name was mentioned way back and I am not going to go into details because you can read the facts in the news today the evidence regarding whether he was involved in child sexual abuse, and the failure of the CPS to bring him to court on several occasions.

The Crown Prosecution Service has deemed him unfit to bring to prosecution because he is living with Alzheimer’s disease. So the case will not go any further meaning those adults who are living with the heritage of being a victim of sexual abuse at one of these children’s homes will never be able to see justice.

This is a very emotive subject, but one I think that is important. Without the recognition of a court judgement, will these people feel betrayed by the justice system?

Lord Janner may be unfit but if there is a case for prosecution, surely he should lose his title? As a Lord he remains to sit in the house of Lords, Alzheimer’s or not.

Surely having Alzheimer’s does not absolve someone of previous crimes committed against people, unless they are not able to mentally distinguish right or wrong at the time of the crime.

Is it right to let them off? Should they still be prosecuted even if they are unable to serve a sentence. For the survivors of the abuse it would mean a public acknowledgement of this man’s crime towards them.

I feel very strongly about supporting survivors of any crime, because they need our support in a world where justice may seem very cruel at times.

My personal view is that yes – he should be prosecuted because I refuse to believe that his memory of his whole life in the 1970’s and 80’s has been forgotten. I can also see on the other hand that this would also be very difficult to do.

This is not an easy debate to have but one which I feel must come.