I am in great need of cat cuddling this morning because I am falling into a black pit of despair. I cannot stop the tears leaking from my eyes so am smiling. Did you know smiling increases the ability to lift your spirits through….lets just say the effect of smiling has in the brain lifts moods. Is it working? Not really although I realise I look somewhat mad smiling through tears hold tight to my cat, who is loving it. She loves a good cuddle and her ‘motor’ is running on full right now – yes even whilst I am typing this, tucked under my arm her paws on my laptop.
This morning I am realising the enormity of my situation. No bathroom and I can’t find any practical help. The well meaning questions of have you contacted…such and such is not really helping. 15 years ago I wouldn’t be in this position, I would never have given my money over to a builder before they had at least done a good deal of work. But, having dementia means that your brain is seriously compromised. Just because I look and sound fine, well more than fine really, the hidden part of what dementia does to you is missed. Like how can you tell if someone is telling you the truth or not? How can you tell if what someone is saying is ‘joke’ and not meant to be taken seriously, how can you tell if someone is conning you or not? I can’t and it quite frankly terrifies the pants off me because you need these skills to make every day decisions.
So what I want is practical help. Someone who can do some hand-holding through what I need to do next. Someone who knows what to do and why it needs doing. People keep saying about how this organisation or that have given them practical help so I want to know ‘how did you get that help’? Here I am, no money, no bathroom and I cannot find anyone who does anything other than say you need to do this or phone this agency. Age UK don’t offer help apparently so they tell me, Citizens Advice Bureau offer advice, Alzheimer’s Society…don’t get me started on that one. So, what I need to know is WHO can give me some practical help of what to do?
Most of these charities, have now stopped giving practical help and have chosen to focus on advice. Well, advice to a single person who is trying to sort something out alone is absolutely worthless when they have dementia. What we need is someone to sit with us and ‘walk’ us through what to do, perhaps give some help on that, stage by stage. Give support, practical support. Someone to tell you “it’s okay we will sort it out”.
I hate dementia.
Going back to cuddling the cat.
Simons Cat does it best….