Having dementia is like being on a roller coaster, with good times, and then a blip of an overwhelming day. Mind you, life in general can be the same although with dementia it can feel just that bit more ghastly. So with an inane grin plastered across my face, (remember, smiling releases good endorphins) getting to a more positive state can be achieved adequately.
I’m getting there but thought I would share with you my thoughts so far.
My bathroom; yes it’s still empty; no I have not found help to sort it out yet; yes I am working on it. The local Alzheimer’s Society have been brilliant in that respect and are working hard to help me. I am feeling more positive because I might have finally found a company who are professional, use good quality products who can come in and start again and give me a bathroom. Yay!!! So, my overwhelming part is that I have to now find the information given me by Social Services to apply for a grant towards getting it done. Then I have to see if I can get a loan to pay it, or see if the Company does finance preferable at 0% interest. So, the beauty is that after 6 months of not being able to have a shower I am getting there. The warts are that I really need someone to talk through this process with to make sure I am doing the best thing for me now that my judgement is somewhat rubbish these days through dementia.
Note to self: for those of us living with dementia without family able to help us with decisions, it would be great to have a dementia advice line/support to chat to help us make better decisions. Who can we talk these things over with now? Someone who can ask us questions to make sure we are doing the right thing. Is this something that we can put in place locally? Actually this would work well for anyone who is vulnerable and who needs objective advice. Hmmm food for thought….
There are always positives to look forward to. When my fibromyalgia is not bad (which it is at the moment – it will abate), I have a garden which will become my relaxing escape place to be in away from the world. I am so excited thinking about the day when I can start it. Once I have my bathroom finished, I can start saving to get it fenced, and then the gardening starts. I am of course working on a 5 year plan!!! I have a beautiful coastline to walk along, pick up sea-glass, watch the birds, embrace the sea breeze.
Positive actions: sometimes just 10-15 minutes a day emptying yet another box from moving in will make me feel better, another strip of wallpaper scraped off the wall. Continuing my creative textile course, sewing the next piece of work. All these small things make my heart lighten. Not least is being involved locally in action for Dementia, making my home town dementia friendly, educating, and just being involved is such an enjoyment in itself.
So, on days when I feel alone and very overwhelmed with the things I used to be able to do without having to prepare myself, I try to look at what I love doing in my life, and what I have and what I can get excited about, and it works.
Take a deep breath, I just have to find a piece of paper I tidied away, make a simple phone call, ask some questions. Write it down so I don’t forget and can make sense of it.
Today I can do these things. Putting my pants on now.
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