I had a disturbing appointment at my GP on Monday, one which I can’t quite get out of my mind.
I had a letter giving me an appointment for a “Medication Review”, okay, so this is just a review no need for my daughter to come with me.
I get into the Doctors surgery to be told this is a Dementia Review. That is not what the letter says, I think but hey ho I have never yet had one of these before so I will go with it.
Dr C reads directly from the screen and I answer his questions. They are short and succinct and not very useful to anyone really.
Dr C: Do you have a carer? Me: No Dr C, mumbling to self ‘Oh there is not a box on here for not having a carer’ Failing number one, he knows me and understands I live alone and manage well. Not all people with Dementia need carers for quite a while.
Dr C: (he talks about this being a difficult question) Have you thought about an Advanced Directive, and DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) and have you got one?
Me: Yes I have thought about it and I want DNR when the time comes, and I haven’t done one yet.
Dr. C gets a form out and starts filling in, ‘We can fill one in now’. I answer general questions and he says that as my Daughter isn’t with me she will need to sign it, after I told him we had talked about it.
Here it comes…………..
Me: Obviously I don’t want that now because I am fine.
Dr. C: “This is an Advanced Directive for the future”
Me: Yes, but I am not likely to have a heart attack now, my heart is healthy. [I have recently had a heart scan and an angiogram and have been told my arteries are healthy and my heart]. And, I am capable of leading a perfectly happy life-style now. So not yet.
Dr. C: This Advanced Directive is for the future
He repeats this several times, and I am saying yes but not yet. Then Dr. C says ‘maybe we can look at this on a yearly basis then’ and rips the form in half and places in the bin.
I am mortified. I am more than that. What just happened here? This GP was suggesting, and filling out a form so that I would not be resuscitated should I need be in the near future, in fact it could have been next month even. I have no intention of doing this until the time is right when my dementia is advancing rapidly.
What is scary, this GP appears to have no idea about Dementia at all. The more I think of it I am very concerned that Dr. C could be a danger to patients. How can this be happening today when there is more knowledge about Dementia than ever. I realise now that even though when I ask him to explain things because of my dementia he just doesn’t get it. He will just say the exact same sentence, so that I have even told him that repeating himself doesn’t mean I will understand any better!
I am changing Doctors rapidly because what if, that form had not been torn up and I was taken ill next week and needed resuscitation? Obviously this is not the only reason, there are others that are equally worrying.
Pushy git, wasn’t he? Stand your ground, Gill!
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His manners were lacking, but please reconsider your decision to wait on the dnr. I am physically healthy, have no (apparent) dementia and I signed a DNR form several years ago after a relative had a major health crisis unexpectedly. She had no DNR and her children were forced into a very very stressful decision-making process that did not end well. I also have create a health directive in place so that my daughter has a medical power of attorney if I am incapacitated. The combination gives me great peace of mind.
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