A trip to Parliament…

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Westminster, London.

(with London Eye in background!)

 

 

Before you start reading please remember that I do have difficulties with remembering and getting specific facts about things 100% correct… But these are my thoughts as I remember them.

 

 

It was cool inside Westminster building with great stone vaulted ceilings and carvings. My daughter and I stood looking down at our feet at the brass plaques declaring that Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother had lain in state at that spot. Other plaques gave the names going back.  Along the sides down steps are rooms like cellars with stone arches in the walls and a broad arched window letting in light. Alice from the Alzheimer’s Society led us to the end room where tables were pushed together surrounded by chairs. I was seated at the top along side Debbie Abrahams MP the Chair of the group, who is the Labour MP for Oldham East & Saddleworth. The room filled up mainly with men, interesting that there were so few women amongst these people.

I was invited by the Alzheimer’s Society to attend a meeting in Westminster to discuss strategies for having an holistic review during the yearly dementia review with your GP.
The meeting started with Andrew Boaden, Senior Policy Officer, Alzheimer’s Society giving an overview of the inquiries findings and the recommendations to Developing a GP-led annual holistic review for people living with dementia and comorbidities.    Then I was given my 5 minutes to talk about my personal experience of living with dementia and fibromyalgia taking some questions afterwards which was good. My 5 minutes included the fact that I have never had a review because I have been told I need to make the appointments myself, which is hard for me to do because I have no sense of time scale and little memory to do so. Calendars do not work for me because I forget to look at them daily, and unless I do that ‘thing’ immediately and not ‘I need to do that today’, I always forget.

When the discussion got going I was concerned that I kept hearing the word ‘elderly’. No mention of younger people with dementia…they had seemingly forgotten my introduction where I specifically highlighted Younger People With Dementia.
Dr Martin McShane, National Clinical Director for Long Term Conditions, NHS England spoke up that looking at ‘risk’ was a more important than reviews.
I wanted to say okay, but how do you know who is at risk if you don’t have any reviews? Sadly there was a long list of hands showing to speak so that it did not give me time.
I also wanted to say about those living alone and how an holistic could benefit them.
I did talk about my co-morbidities: Fibromyalgia, IBS, and said how times when my Fibro is flaring with lack of sleep, Fibro fog can mimic the confusion of dementia. If in a review it is not taken into account my dementia could be seen as worsening with confusion, but in reality it is my Fibromyalgia, which means that my lessens when my fibro has reduced.
It was interesting listening to them talk at a higher level, because these are the people who make the changes in the health system. Not sure they were convinced yet, apart from one person Dr Andrew Green GP clinical and prescribing subcommittee Chair, British Medical Association (BMA) who described how something very similar is working extremely well in his northern practice. Funded in a different way, it sounded like it was meeting this need already giving everybody, not just those with dementia, an holistic review on a regular basis. Sadly he also spoke NHS funding cuts would mean, this service would be a casualty of it.
All of the 6 women(out of 16) brought up equally important questions and discussion, and listening around the room at everybody I could hear that everyone has their own agenda according to their expertise and involvement.
At four on the dot the meeting was over and the next group was eager to get into the room to start theirs.
I talked to Alice, I enjoyed being here, this was good, I tell her, and we talk about other things I can get involved with………Oh this is not over yet, she answers, so watch this space..!

Having a voice…

I was invited by the Alzheimer’s Society to go to the Service Users Review Panel Conference in Manchester here in  England and obviously said yes please.  There were lots of groups represented in the room with both group facilitators and a few people with dementia – PWD.  For those of you who don’t know what these groups are about I shall tell you what they are and about my day.

I belong to the West Berkshire Empowerment Group.  This is a group that meet once a month to discuss and review…just about anything.  Any issues that have any sort of impact on someone living with dementia.  As part of the DEEP – Dementia Engagement Empowerment Project there are around 38 groups in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and more in Scotland.   The groups are made up of people with dementia and a facilitator and is designed for people living with dementia to have a voice in just about anything locally, hopefully to also have an impact nationally.

First of all, I shall admit I was invited to this day – to go to a conference in Manchester and actually I had no idea what it was about or why I was invited.  I get so confused as to each of the Societies, Services, Groups, and Organisations are and whether they are affiliated to each other.    The trouble is one organisation is an umbrella for one topic, which in turn is an umbrella for various groups…and I can’t keep up with it.   So there I am going to a conference that is by the Alzheimer’s Society Organisation and had no idea it was for Service Users Review Panel groups, and then….I had no idea that the West Berkshire Empowerment Group was a Service Users Review Panel.   And, where the hell does DEEP come into it all, who is that affiliated to?  I have dementia for goodness sake I am struggling to keep up with who is who these days…

Anyway, it was a great day in which highlighted lots of work that many of the groups had done and were doing.  For instance, one group has worked with Royal Doulton in producing dementia friendly china ware which is not an insubstantial impact in dementia care.

In our group the West Berkshire Empowerment Group in the past we have given our opinion to research on books/novels specifically published for PWD.  Reviewed electronic gadgets such as key finders.  The group went to the Royal Berkshire Hospital at Reading to look at the signage and our review was passed back to the hospital for improvements.  We suggested a purple wristband for PWD so that they can be easily identified, because we know that many people like myself do not show obvious signs of difficulties, but after an anesthetic we could quite badly affected with confusion.  This has now been approved and the hospital has put this practice in place.  We also look at public transport and whether that is dementia friendly.  The groups also help the local community become dementia friendly.

This conference looked at what format worked for each of the groups, for instance some of the groups were on a 12 month basis only.  Some of that is because of funding.   The group I belong to rolls on and on and on…we have no time limit.   Our facilitator Louise Keane is particular active in ensuring that we have some great issues to discuss and review, and it became apparent to me that her  attitude towards the group is brilliant and makes our group attractive for institutions such as Reading University, and other services to approach us for our opinions.  Thanks Louise!

The opinions that were talked about were being looked at those organising all of the groups and it was quite surprising for me to hear that the lack of support for facilitators was felt by some of the new groups.  But this was a topic and a great one too to be openly discussed: could it be improved and enhanced. For me it was interesting to hear some people say they didn’t feel supported in knowing how to end a group after the 12 months, or how to deal with someone whose dementia had progressed and could no longer take part in any discussion. So it was good this conference highlighted these issues, and for me as a PWD to hear that.   I am sure that training for our facilitators will improve to enable the groups to grow and give us our voices.

It was great to hear how some of the work that the groups had done had impacted not only locally but was being looked at nationally.

It just goes to show how small groups of people with dementia can have such a powerful voice if only given the opportunity to speak.   Anyone living with dementia who wants something more than just pleasurable activities, who would like a voice then I would encourage you to join your local DEEP group.  You can find your nearest group on their website.  Come along its great to be involved and obviously you get a cup of tea!tumblr_mqmztxxppp1rzwv55o1_500

Disappointed.

I had a disappointing appointment at the memory clinic the other week.  The nurse did my MMSE (Mini Mental State Examination) test, which I always do well with.  I can usually remember the three items, this time it was coat, book, and apple.  I put the apple in one pocket and the book in the other and had no trouble remembering it!   I am the master of solutions…

I did get one score wrong – counting backwards in 7’s from 100..I was never very good with numbers and have to take time to work it out in my head, I am sure I have dyscalculia (problem with numbers).  I got one wrong and she said I probably just made a mistake.  Really?  ‘No’, I said, ‘I meant to say the number’.

Just because my MMSE scores are high doesn’t mean that I am not affected by my Alzheimer’s.

I can tell what has changed for me in the past year since my last appointment.  One thing is the ability to tell when something said is being said in jest or for real.  I struggle to understand throw away remarks as being just that.  I have to question, ‘did they mean that?’ There have been times when my daughter has said to me that she or someone has been joking when they said something, that it wasn’t meant to be real, and I have struggled to think it out how I couldn’t have seen it.  But truth is I don’t get these things like that any more which can be a bit embarrassing for me when I respond in all earnest.

I also find myself crying for no reason at all.  NO I AM NOT DEPRESSED, how many times do I have to say that!  I have a positive outlook on life, in fact I think my life is pretty good right now, despite having Alzheimer’s and despite the prognosis.  I have come back from a wonderful holiday….will write about that next and how I got on travelling, and have booked another holiday to Tobago in February to look forward to.  Anyway to get back to the ‘crying’ business, the nurse tried so hard to tell me how I have a lot on my plate and it is natural to get depressed about things. Grrrrrrrrrr…..I tell her I do not have reactive depression, nor do I have clinical depression, but I think she has her ears turned off.  Finally, thanks to my online friends living with dementia, I was told about PBA  (Pseudobulbar affect).  Online sites talks about ‘emotional incontinence‘, although I prefer the term emotional unzipping as explained to me by Dr. Jennifer Bute.   Anyway, I think I may have to print out some information and post it to the memory clinic so that they can learn about it!  I took it the info to my GP to tell them that I did not want to increase any antidepressants, he took the information and typed it into the computer without commenting.

I also discussed about the 6 monthly reviews with my GP which I have never had.  Apparently I am supposed to make the appointments myself.  I asked how I am supposed to remember to make an appointment every six months when my memory for appointments is pretty awful?  No real answer, but a suggestion to get the Doctors surgery to remind me- that’s not going to happen because they don’t do that either.  So, I am left without a solution for that one other than buy my diaries in advance to make sure I write a note in.

All this is more difficult when you live on your own.  I don’t have family to remind me to do things, or notice when I don’t,  or notice when I am not up to par that day.  I have to rely on myself alone.   Take it easy on the days when I am not 100% and push myself on the the other days.

I am also struggling to take my medication every day.  For goodness sake, I leave it next to the kettle so that when I make my morning coffee I can take my tablets, but do I?  Nope..I seem to be blind to the blister pack, and simply get my coffee.  A friend suggested that it would be better if they incorporated medication with coffee/tea and no one would forget to take them then!    I think, how can I not remember that I take medication every day, how stupid is that?  I am an intelligent woman and am used to putting all sorts of solutions to  put things in place, but it seems my brain simply switches off to certain things occasionally. Don’t think I haven’t tried all sorts of things because I have.  I have thought of a board on the wall to mark when I have taken it but I know I won’t keep that up.  I am now on my second phone app with a reminder to take them…which seems to be okay at present.  I tried recording my voice telling me it was ‘time to take my medication’ but randomly it started up during the middle of the afternoon!   Right now I have an app that is a simple reminder and is working.

There is a research study I would love to join but have realised that joining any research study is going to be hard for me because I have no ‘study partner’.   Single people living with dementia seem to be more disadvantaged because they have no ‘other’ to monitor or talk for them.  It is so hard for me to acknowledge that.   I did ask the Alzheimer’s Society if they could find someone/a befriended for me but I am unique in that I am so early in my diagnosis there is no one suitable for me.  I guess looking for a ‘friend’ to do things with who will get to know me and maybe travel with me to meetings etc, is a tall order and would take someone who is in a position to be flexible who would like a friend also!   Who knows maybe I shall meet someone who is need of a friend also….

As well as my recent holiday, I do have daily good things.  My allotment is coming along, slow but sure.  Once I find a way of getting some free pallets to my plot I shall continue to make some raised beds.  I had lots of veg this summer and am planning for next year already.  I do enjoy my activities with the YPWD – Young People With Dementia group.  I realise how lucky we are in Newbury, Berkshire to have them because what they provide is quite a rare thing around the country, which will hopefully with change with new groups springing up focusing on younger people with dementia.    I have enjoyed my weekly gardening with them, and the art activities we have done.  Recently we have had Harriet with us from the Corn Exchange in Newbury with us organising some activities in connection with the Library, and a morning talking about childhood books was most enjoyable.  We have drawn and painted, and created paper sculptures.   Yes this is an important group for me because I feel like I can be myself and not have to be ‘ultra okay’ all of the time especially because they are all truly lovely people.

 

 

Well now, what’s new?

Gosh it feels like ages since I have written and posted anything.  I am quite busy these days and need to get some time to sit and read, and also write.

Early December I lost my Dad.Scan 9

At 94 his heart simply stopped.  He was at home and had lost the reason to live after my Mum died last June 2015.   It was a sad time for all our family arranging a funeral for the second time in six months.   Now we have the hard task of working together to clear the family home, I don’t need to say how difficult that is.  We all miss him so much.

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So what else is new….well the biggest thing is that I recently tried to join a research trial for a new drug for dementia that has had some remarkable effects.  So I was keen to get on to the third phase.  Along I went and carried out the initial memory tests to see if I was eligible and was not really surprised to find out that my memory was too good for the trial!  Over time I have been feeling that my cognitive abilities have indeed improved and I discussed it with the researcher.  I have now been taking Rivastigmine medication (Exelon) for the last 2 (or is it 3 years?) and it has certainly improved things for me.  I have also worked hard in trying to keep my mental abilities active, by reading, writing, playing scrabble, sudoko and the like.   I think it is great news.   There are times when I know people have questioned their diagnosis (or others questioned the diagnoses of someone) when they do not appear to have any great cognitive difficulties or have improved.  It is very unsettling when someone has a diagnosis of dementia then told they do not have dementia because the symptoms have improved some what.  People want a reason for their cognitive difficulties.    For me, I would love to have a different diagnosis, ‘So sorry we made a mistake you don’t really have Alzheimer’s those empty holes in the blood flow in your brain scan was just a smudge on the camera lens’  and I still wonder if brain trauma looks the same as Alzheimer’s in a scan, but then know it is likely it leads to the same thing.  I even thought of trying to get a different diagnosis, perhaps downgrade it to MCI (Mild Cognitive Impairment) which I already have, but the reason for it was diagnosed as Alzheimer’s.  It all seems so complicated and simple at the same time.  What does it matter anyway – well I will tell you how it affects you.  I have to first remind you that I do NOT have Dementia, yeah yeah I know that Dementia is a symptom, but it is also a disease, and Alzheimer’s is classed under that.  You still with me so far?   Ok so having been told before by one GP that you cannot have Alzheimer’s without dementia due to it being a dementia, I have Alzheimer’s disease without dementia.  That fact still remains true at present unless anyone else can interpret my scans differently.    Holiday insurance: did you know that you cannot get a yearly insurance if you have a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s?  No matter that I may have only mild cognitive impairments, it is the word Alzheimer’s that is the crux.  I guess if I said my diagnosis is MCI then I would be able to get it.  I can get individual insurance for each holiday so I am told but at a greater cost.   (I have just booked a trip to Alaska with my daughter in August which we have been saving for! )  Driving licence:  I would have to apply for each every year with my doctors confirmation that I am able to drive.  I have however had to surrender it because my attention  is too poor.   Yet someone with ADHD, are they able to hold a driving licence I wonder?  Suffice to say the word Alzheimer’s in itself is a barrier to a lot of things regardless of the level of it.

It’s great though that my cognitive abilities have improved and I hope it will remain so for many years to come…….

I am involved in my local YPWD (Young Persons With Dementia) group and join in activities locally.  We had an arts and crafts course before Christmas which was fun, and since then it has been furniture up-cycling – something very close to my heart as I have furnished my flat with old furniture and am up-cycling it bit by bit.  I am really enjoying doing it and discovering what my style is!

On Monday I shall be speaking at the Berkshire Dementia Action Alliance Meeting.  When I was asked I felt a bit of a fraud but then I am more than capable to talk about how it was when I was diagnosed and what I have been doing since to keep my brain active – use or lose it as the saying goes, and how to make sure that I remember everything on a daily basis.  I can talk about how I still fear the future – when I allow myself to.   Also speaking with me is a guy  who is another member of the Newbury Empowerment Group so we know each other.   So I am trying to put together some notes for that.  Will let you know how it goes.

Next, I have been asked to be part of local nurse training giving information about early diagnosis and my experiences.  I can not only pass on what I know, I can also give them lots of information that they will not have even thought about!   I am so pleased to have been asked and can be a voice.  Not sure whether that will be by video or a talk.  Looking forward to being involved with that.

I have had some very small involvement in the West Berkshire Neurological Alliance, which is an excellent forum.  I regularly attend the Berkshire West Therapy Centre using their exercise machines to keep fit in a way that helps my Fibromyalgia.  It is such a unique place with only one other coming close to it in the country, I help out with raffles, and will help when they move premises on 1st April.

This year is already turning out to have the promise of lots to keep me occupied!

Dementia: Headaches and stuff

19 August 2015
Went to the Doctors yesterday because I am so tired of headaches,     brainday in day out, the pain in my head just won’t go away.   Sounds like cluster headaches but I have no break in them, so possibly migraine the doctor reckons.  She suggested that I try some Amytriptaline at a very small dose at night. However, Boots the Chemist say their suppliers don’t do a lactose free version!  So, I have a conversation about whether they can get any from elsewhere and here is the rub: they use two suppliers who in turn have a range of manufacturers they use, and they don’t make them lactose free…. So I say “can you not find a manufacturer who makes them?” I add “ I can go on the internet and find out who manufactures some and give you the information”. But, what the guy is saying is that if their suppliers do not buy from these manufacturers then, no, they will not get them.

Thanks BOOTS, what a ridiculous situation to put me in!

Maybe I will have to go back to my Doctor and ask her to supply me with a separate prescription so that I can trawl the chemists in the towns trying to find a different one who uses alternative suppliers to BOOTS, in order to find a lactose free version whilst coping with a head that is being ‘drilled’ constantly.

I also talked to her about my mood being up-and-down at present, becoming annoyingly teary throughout the day. It seems the past 6 months has finally caught up with me. My marriage breaking down and leaving my husband, moving home to a new area not knowing anyone and my mother dying, along with the trauma my sister is constantly putting us all through with her constant bizarre and unforgivable behaviour with my Dad.

After a visit from a lovely lady (Alzheimers Support) giving me all sorts of information of what was available for Young people With Dementia, I joined a group for a ’stroll and supper’ at a nearby park. Not knowing the area at all, I planned my bus journey on the net, which stop to get off with a walk across the park to the meeting place. Yes, I felt anxious as I left and found I had forgotten my mobile phone, but ‘not sweating the small stuff’ decided it was not important enough to get it and risk missing the bus.  It was a good night and met some lovely people, but I was excruciatingly aware that I was the only single person there, and this upset me greatly. So, I am going to ask whether it is at all possible to find out if there are other people with dementia who want to meet up as a group singly.

So, all in all struggling a bit at the moment.