Time has flown by, I need to catch up!

Christmas 2013

What a conundrum this year, my daughter has asked us to spend Christmas with her in London.  Mr Hsg has always made a point saying he never wants to go to London, so what to do?  The solution was that Mr Hsg would take me to London on Tuesday – Christmas Eve and return home, and would pick me up on Friday.  That way he would not have the stress of being somewhere unfamiliar and could remain with the cats.

How fabulous are these slipper socks!

 

We got up, made tea and coffee, and opened our presents.  C had knitted me a pair of slipper booties, they are brilliant!  She also made chutney this year which has delighted me immensely.   Such thought and effort that she put into my present.  She made chocolate truffles for her boyfriend’s parents that looked divine in the box she had carefully chosen.

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That dinner was far too big!!

Her boyfriend went to his parents to have Christmas dinner, whilst C and I cooked dinner together enjoying catching up with chats that I miss so much.

We had been invited to join C’s boyfriend’s parents for drinks, as this is a serious relationship they naturally wanted to meet me.  I admit I was very apprehensive as there would be several other people there and I struggle sometimes to chat normally with people I don’t know.  The stress makes my loss of words worse unable to finish a sentence.  “Don’t worry” C says to me, “everybody loses words when they talk, I think you make too much of it”.  She has always found it hard to acknowledge any illnesses that I have had, and ignoring them to make them go away.  I have to talk to her about it sometimes though so that she understands my behaviour.

We walked from her house to Greenwich Village to J’s parents house, I felt sick with apprehension and too much food!  I realised that at home my plate is small but our Xmas dinner were plated on normal size dinner plates – delicious but not good for my digestion.  Of course I declined the suggestion that we get a cab, and welcomed the 30 minute walk.  The evening passed very pleasantly with lovely friendly people and a large glass of water.

Boxing Night was a real treat with a trip to the Haymarket Theatre to see ‘One man, two Guvnors’ with J’s parents.  It was excellent and very funny, a great way to spend time.

It was so lovely to be with my daughter, but I looked forward to going home with the peace of the boat and our quiet lifestyle.

When I think of being with people I don’t know I worry that I say the wrong things, inappropriate and isolate myself.

Christmas organised…

Mr Hsg is going to drive me to London, drop me off at my daughters house and return back to the boat to spend Christmas with the cats!  He struggles with Christmas, and says he feels ‘awkward’ celebrating in the company of my daughter (or friends).  I understand how he feels as it is the same when I am with unfamiliar people.  I miss being with my daughter, and Christmas for us is about cooking the dinner together, sitting eating and enjoying the day.  We are close and I know that it is hard for others to break into that closeness, but it is important for the two of us to have every moment we enjoy together that we can.  Mr Hsg and I have been together for nearly 4 years, my daughter and I, nearly 28 years…….

I have packed a bag, made a list of what I am taking and feeling both excited and guilty.  Excited about spending Christmas with Claire who loves Christmas, and guilty for not worrying about not being with Mr Hsg who hates celebrating anything, especially Christmas!  He obviously cares about me to understand that it is important for me to have these times with Claire.

My list:  Presents, food; Turkey, Veg, Gluten free things..Camera, Tablet (charged up), Christmas cheer!!

Happy holidays!

Christmas Wishes!

To you all.

Christmas on the boat 2012

Christmas Day – 25th December 2012

Didn’t get dressed on Christmas Day.  It was lovely having my daughter C with us..even if she just spent most of her time on her phone/twitter or kindle reading!!

I spent most of the day cooking and washing up, just a normal Christmas really.   I feel a need to try and enjoy every moment but in a quiet way.   I love being away from everyone and the hustle  and bustle of towns and cars.  I love the quietness of being on a boat, listening to the rain on the metal roof, feeling the boat bob up and down when the wind is strong.  Hearing the birds, the ducks arguing.  The canada geese with their damaged ‘angel wings’, forever stuck in marina, starting to exert their dominance.

I really wasn’t interested in presents, for me it was having my daughter with me.  The run up to Christmas was fairly traumatic with hospital appointments and the fear of the diagnosis to come.  I did not trawl round the shops for little gifts, finding those special little gifts that Mum’s find for their children.  I fear C was a little disappointed, but got what she asked for and even though knitting needles and a bag is not the most exciting it is a lasting present..and of course I will pay for some wool to start her off.

26th December 2012

 – Boxing day

We got dressed….and headed off into the rain to Bakewell in the Derbyshire Peaks.   C’s feet froze and we walked round looking for some thermal socks for her.  There were a lot of people despite the weather.  We sat in a coffee shop and I took pictures of C..I had told her I wanted to start a ‘Memory Book’ before I could no longer remember who anyone was.  I know it was a hard thing to say because it brings home the reality of what is wrong with me for her.   I lie in bed at night and it breaks my heart that time is limited for me being ‘with’ the ones I love.

Am I noticing my memory and other difficulties more because I know it will get worse?  My hearing is not quite right now.  I am unable to process more than one sound at a time.  Don’t bother speaking to me when I am listening to the radio, tv, or music because I can’t get what you are saying.

27th December 2012

We had to get up before the crack of dawn to take C to Birmingham Coach Station because she did not book her return ticket early enough for anywhere closer!!

I miss her when I am not near her.  Living in the city her life is fast paced, friends, a good social life, and life full of interest.  It feels sometimes we are worlds apart, but she has always liked the culture of London Life rather than the quiet country life I prefer.