new years eve – Handbagwarrior; verbal ramblings

New Year’s Eve.

I always like to sweep away the old year and start a new year afresh. I believe everyone should. I don’t mean discard everything from the old year, I mean that each year is fresh and there is an excitement to what you can achieve. Mentally dismissing the old and positively actively seeking the new.

What I am talking about is seeking out all the positive of things each day brings, each new experience to make the most of every day. Sounds pretty corny right? So, I don’t care. It takes a lot of work staying positive but brings its own rewards.

Last year brought new challenges, my vision has changed, I think my Alzheimer’s has progressed in different ways. My long vision has become blurred, with ‘holes’ but there is nothing wrong with my eyes. My taste has changed, or rather I find it hard to enjoy the taste of food and drink because they have become bland. I have constantly weird dreams involving all the people I have known in them, and where I am constantly getting lost. Night after night my sleep is disturbed by these dreams, but this is what dementia can be like. Thankfully they are not nightmares and are weirdly interesting.

My memory is worse than it has been with lots more blanks. I get more confused, more upset about silly things, but always try and bounce back. Be Positive.

So 2019 I will be remaining positive, with some good times ahead making the most of enjoying my life, my friends and my family.

I wish all my friends around the world a positive and rewarding 2019.

Mr Hsg is still full of cold and is clearly not up doing much. Sitting reading, I suddenly realised it was New Year’s Eve, and that it is Monday!

I have so much to do…write to DVLA and inform them of my diagnosis, Professor L says that he will tell them that I am ok to drive still. These are things that you don’t think of initially that could be affected. Then, I have to phone the Occupational Health Assessor and let her know my diagnosis and explain that Prof L says he will sign me off to retire early. It is all so alien, these procedures, what to do next, who to tell. I have yet to tell my work colleagues, somehow I am finding this difficult. I keep thinking about work and the emails, and conversations I had with my seniors/bosses about my memory problems and my fears of forgetting important things, and them totally ignoring me! Let’s just say they have little skill in the ‘human’ resources and disabilities at work and the law. Having been off work since early September, work is beginning to fade away for me now. I miss some of my work colleagues, they are lovely people, I miss working with the young people, but others can do my job equally as well. No one is indispensable in life. I believe all we can ever hope for in our life’s journey is to bring something good to others on the way. As Maya Angelou said:

” I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you feel