Lately I notice that anything I say is not quite right and has be adjusted, or has to be embellishes with a greater knowledge than mine. It irritates the hell out of me not because of Alzheimers but because it is belittling and I find it difficult to bite my tongue and not say anything rather than start a dialogue that would not be productive to either of us. He is angry with me.
I have always found it hard to be impressed by people, I think that my childhood taught me that the wise words by Maya Angelou was the only thing that mattered, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.
If someone tells me something new, or adds to what I have said I listen and enjoy the extra knowledge, but when someone challenges a simple statement to try and show that it was incorrect by changing the context, then I feel irritated. Maybe the fact that I have developed these life changing illnesses frustrates or is the focus of disappointment. When we attend the next appointment at the memory clinic, Mr Hs will be expected to record any changes…irritability, ‘oh yes’, he can say ‘she is more irritable’, and no one will ask me why. But I can write it down.